


Oh, I heard your castle sighing

by theseatheseatheopensea



Category: A kékszakállú herceg vára | Duke Bluebeard's Castle - Bartók/Balázs
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Castles, Experimental Style, Gen, Inspired by Music, Multi, Other, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theseatheseatheopensea/pseuds/theseatheseatheopensea
Summary: The castle has seven doorways. The castle has seven doors. The castle has seven rooms. The castle has the key.And this is what the castle says.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2019





	Oh, I heard your castle sighing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Assimbya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assimbya/gifts).



> This story was heavily inspired by [this amazing](http://www.powell-pressburger.org/Reviews/63_Bluebeard/Words.html) [opera](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHRdmXX5hNw), and also by [Bluebeard](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD67KRum-Cs) by Cocteau Twins, because I'm basic like that ;)  
> *  
> Thank you to my beta+friend J. for invaluable help and support.  
> *  
> Hi Assimbya: thank you for such a wonderful prompt! I couldn't resist writing something from the castle's point of view, so I hope you like this! Happy holidays! <3

_And the colour of your eyes_  
_would open a fortress_  
_The code of your eyes - it said sadness_

\- Robert Forster: [Fortress](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tb2gi--aUs).

*

I speak. I balance. I walk.

I name all these things.

I am alive.

I have seven doorways. I have seven doors. I have seven rooms.

I have the key.

And you have a beautiful, beautiful name. Your voice is like delicate glass. You have gentle hands, and you have been kind to me.

You have been kind to me, so I will tell you this. Judith, I will tell you this.

Do you open door after door?

Do you enter room after room?

Do you let the light in?

 _Open, open, open,_ you said. Every door must open. Light shall enter, for love. _For love,_ you said.

But that is not how I am. It is dark, all dark. _This_ is how I am. This is how he wants it. This is how he wants _me_.

And he has allowed you to leave. But you are still here.

 _Nothing, nothing. Nothing,_ you said.

I have seven rooms. And you don't want to leave yet.

 _Oh, I heard your castle sighing,_ you said.

You are too kind.

*

I am the night wind. I am the labyrinth. I am the open wound.

I am the castle, within.

If you walk any further, you will see my tears. You will see my blood.

I am bitter. I am cold. I speak in codes. I speak in codes of sadness. I am the echo of an echo of a sigh.

I am the castle, without.

I am dark. I am joyless. And if I get tired, I might as well stop. If I get tired, I _will_ stop. I will push you away.

I am tired. And you never learn. I love him without questions. I love him in silence. If I can do it, then why can't you? Why can't any of you?

He is icy. He is sad.

And he is gentle. And he is true.

And he is mine.

*

I don't want the sun. He doesn't want it either.

I am the flame within. I am enough.

I have made a secret garden for him. I have made him a window to the world.

He has everything he needs here. But he is lonely. And I am lonely, too.

I am not enough.

I am sadness.

I am a mystery. And he is a mystery, too. Dark like ink, dark like midnight, dark like the sea.

Yes, he is lonely. The colour of his eyes says sadness.

And he belongs to me.

*

 _Through and through my castle trembles,_ he said.

Oh, I tremble. Yes, he belongs to me.

Listen, Judith. No windows. No daylight. No, the sun can never live here.

And I will not let go.

The air here has this rich, heavy texture that he likes. I have made a deep trance of soot and iron for him. I am the dark, private room in his heart. And he will keep on living here. And he will always belong to me.

Why, you said? Why not?

 _Let me have the key,_ you said.

But his hands melt into the red glow of the fire. And the key is his to give.

And the key is _mine_.

I am enough. I am enough for him. Always, always.

This love is a nameless dream. This love is empowering. _This_ is what I said.

*

I like you. You are soft. You are kind. And this is not your fault.

You are kind. And it makes me sad.

You want to enter all these doorways. You deserve so much more.

You could stay, with all the others. It wouldn't be a bad life. But why would you want to? Truly, why would you?

They are kind, too. But they are silent. Always silent. And I don't want that for you.

I don't want to lie.

*

 _He belongs to me,_ I said. _I love him quietly,_ I said.

 _See, how my poor castle glitters,_ he said.

I like you. And you are kind. So I will be kind as well.

These riches you wear are heavy. Are they not?

So, walk away, Judith. Walk away from the shadows. Walk away if you can.

Don't be afraid. Morning breaks. Watch the sunrise. Behold the light. Go, go and dance with the sun. Hold it in your hands. Bring the sunshine, open, open. You can go.

Don't cry. Please don't cry. I will always remember you, like I remember all of them. Living, breathing. They are here. Daybreak and noon and evening and midnight. Day after day. Day after day, you will be here too. You will always be here, with me.

I promise. I promise you.

Now, go. Go out, and don't be silent. Don't bleed to feed the garden.

Go. Leave, door after door. Leave, room after room.

Close it. Leave it all behind.

*

You are kind. And we understand each other now. Now, you know. There is blood on the key now. So leave me. Leave me be.

Leave me here. Leave me with him.

He stands by the window, and he holds out his hands.

 _Come now, place them on my heart,_ he said.

I want to touch him. But I have no hands. Still, perhaps one day, he will give me the key. And he will give me his heart. And we will stay here, and we will rest, deep in the shadows within. Always, always.

 _Love me,_ he said. _Kiss me,_ he said. _Ask no questions,_ he said. _Ask me nothing,_ he said.

Oh, but I have no hands. But I love him. And the key is in his mouth. And I don't want to rush him. And so, I remain silent.

 _And how long would you miss me?_ I said.

But no more, no more, I am still here.

I am still here, and so is he. He stands underneath the sky. He stands underneath my shade, within. He is _here_ , with me. His mouth is fire. His mouth is midnight. He is _right_ for me. And I have no hands, but I touch him. Softly, softly.

Softly, and here it is, the sound of the key. And I will enter every doorway. I will enter every room. We will open all the doors, together. And I will find him. I will always find him. The key is his. The key is mine. And all shall be darkness, darkness, darkness.


End file.
